Saturday, May 28, 2005 friends syndrome...

5am friday morning
thursday night far from sleep
i'm still up and driving
can't go home obviously
so i'll just change direction
cause they'll soon know where i live
and i wanna live
got a full tank and some chips

Tori Amos - Me and a Gun

And I'm here, back home after a night full of...Actually, full of what?
Thoughts? Dreams? I've spent a few lovely hours with some of my old friends, and when I say old I mean that I know them for more then 2 years. Didn't have many friends before, not such I would like to remember, but that's not the point here. It was good to see, that they are still together after 2 years, and they look as much in love as when I've seen them together the first time.
Somehow I envy them, I would like to have someone by my side, but it's impossible now and I think it also won't be possible in the future. Still, I just can't get used to being alone, even though I'm alone as long as I can remember. One can say: as long as you have your friends you're not alone, but this just isn't true. OK, you can spend some wonderful time with your friends, but it'll never be like, like what? I don't know the feeling when you're together with someone you love, however there's a strange feeling inside me what it could be like. Ehhh, nevermind. After all - you must live the life you were given, because there's no other one to live...

Maybe let me change the topic of this post, I can always write more later.
Expect some changes to Planet PLD because I handed over everything related to it to Patrys. Of course if he agrees I will still handle some adminsitration tasks, like adding new journals, etc. but all the design work is his domain now (not that I would ever have time to fix the current layout :P).

No comments: